Feeling Like Goldilocks at Almost 38: The Realities of a Black Woman in Fundraising

Finding Just Right in a World of Too Much or Too Little

When I was starting my career, my grandmother—a formidable force of wisdom and strength—never missed the chance to ask, "Does it come with benefits?" Her concern went beyond practicality; it was a stark reflection of the systemic inequities that had defined her professional life. As a Black woman who began teaching on a $22,000 salary, she knew all too well the harsh reality of benefits as a cruel joke in the employment world.

Back then, benefits were not a given but a rare privilege, predominantly reserved for white educators. It served as a painful reminder of the racial and economic barriers that consistently held back people of color, especially in fields dominated by white professionals who could expect stability and support systematically denied to Black educators. For her, the question of benefits was about survival and dignity in a system designed to marginalize Black professionals. While her white counterparts had benefits as a baseline expectation, for her and those like her, it was a rare luxury. This wasn't just a personal injustice; it mirrored a broader racial divide that continues to devalue Black lives and labor.

Today, I find myself channeling my inner Goldilocks in selecting jobs, speaking engagements, and clients. It often feels like a fairy tale quest, where each opportunity is tested to see if it’s just right—neither too hot nor too cold but perfectly aligned with my values and goals. This process is as much an art as it is a science, requiring a delicate balance between passion and practical needs while striving to build the generational wealth my grandmother envisioned for me. Being a Black woman in fundraising is navigating a double-edged sword. There’s the exhilarating freedom to pursue opportunities that align with my values and passions, allowing me to engage in work that resonates deeply with my commitment to social justice. Yet, there’s also the relentless pressure to find stability and security—a constant echo of my grandmother’s advice.

The stakes are high. Stability is not just a personal preference but a necessity shaped by a legacy of generational struggles for economic and professional equity. Every decision I make is influenced by the enduring challenges my grandmother faced and the systemic inequities that still impact Black professionals today. Balancing fulfilling work with financial security is a constant reminder of the ongoing fight for justice and parity that my grandmother’s generation experienced firsthand.

Evaluating each opportunity—whether a job, speaking engagement, or client—feels like a never-ending quest for the "just right" scenario, much like Goldilocks searching for the perfect porridge. It’s about more than just a paycheck; it’s about benefits, growth potential, alignment with my core values, and the security it offers. I wrestle with the pull between impactful work and the practical need for financial stability and wealth that outlives me.

This journey is both liberating and maddening. It’s easy to get bogged down by the quest for the perfect fit while facing the reality of making a living and planning for a secure future. Yet, reflecting on my grandmother’s wisdom, I see that this pursuit is about more than fitting into a mold; it’s about crafting a career that fulfills personal ambitions while building something enduring and significant.

So, as I forge ahead, I blend humor with seriousness, knowing that while I might sometimes feel like Goldilocks, my choices are fueled by a legacy of resilience and a commitment to creating stability and wealth that honors the struggles of those who came before me. This is not just about career choices; it’s a declaration to challenge the status quo and build a future that defies the limitations of the past. Stay tuned, because this quest is far from over—and the search for that perfect fit is just the beginning.