Being a Twin Parent at Almost 38: The Realities of a Black Woman in Fundraising

This Sunday, my twin boys will hit a major milestone – their third birthday. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that three years have flown by since I first cradled these tiny bundles in my arms. The journey of parenthood, especially as a Black woman in fundraising, has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride.

I feel like these little firecrackers have single-handedly redefined chaos in my life. Their laughter is infectious, their curiosity knows no bounds, and their talent for transforming a tidy home into a playground catastrophe in mere minutes is unmatched. My repertoire of silly songs now rivals a children's TV show playlist – thanks, Lucas the Spider and Blippi! Parenting twins is akin to running an endless marathon with sporadic sprints. It’s exhilarating and filled with moments that blur the line between tears of joy and tears of exhaustion.

Dani + M&M (Month old)

Some days, I’m on top of the world – the boys are happy, I'm crushing work deadlines, and dinner miraculously appears before 7 pm. Then there are those other days when sleep seems like a distant memory, and my house resembles a toy store after a Black Friday sale.

I’ve learned firsthand the importance of asking for help and admitting when things get overwhelming. Self-care isn’t just a luxury; it’s a lifeline. Laughter has become my secret weapon on the toughest days, helping me find humor in the chaos that twins inevitably bring.

Balancing a career in fundraising with the whirlwind of twin parenthood is a challenge like no other. It demands relentless dedication and energy, and yet, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But let’s keep it real – there are moments during those crucial Zoom calls when I'm silently praying my boys don’t decide it’s the perfect time for a meltdown.

M&M (3mo vs. 9mo)

The intersection of being a working parent and a Black woman in the fundraising world adds layers of complexity. There’s an unspoken expectation to prove myself twice as hard to be considered half as worthy. Navigating through racial and gender biases while building relationships and securing funding requires a resilience that sometimes feels overwhelming.

But amidst the challenges, there’s an overwhelming sense of pride. I am determined to be a role model for my boys, showing them through my actions that perseverance pays off. I want them to witness firsthand that their parent can thrive in her career while also being present for them. My goal is for them to grow up knowing their potential is limitless, regardless of the obstacles they may encounter.

Raising Black boys in today’s world comes with a unique set of fears and aspirations. I am acutely aware of the realities they will confront as they mature, and it's my mission to equip them with the confidence and resilience they'll need to thrive. I want them to understand their inherent value and to know they have the power to break down barriers and surpass expectations.

Dani + M&M (Parked, napping)

One of the most profound aspects of this journey is navigating the responsibility of raising Black men in a society that doesn’t recognize their worth. It’s a responsibility I take to heart, and it fuels my passion for my work in fundraising. Each grant secured and program funded represents a step toward a more just and equitable future for my Black sons and for all children who look like them.

So, here’s to being a twin parent at nearly 38 – to the late-night giggles, the triumphant milestones, and setbacks, and everything in between. It’s a journey uniquely mine, and despite the challenges, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. As we ready our home for the birthday festivities this weekend, I’m filled with gratitude for the lessons learned, the love shared, and the endless joy my boys bring into my life each and every day.

Dani + M&M (few days old)